I can’t because no one ever does.

I’m a screw up.

I haven’t cut in 119 days and I can feel myself slipping back into a relapse, and the worst part is…I’m looking forward to it.
I’m such a stupid, evil, horrible, useless little screw up.

When the scars fade…

Sometimes it’s like they speak to us.

Everyday is a struggle, be proud of each attempt.

Trying to stop self harming is very difficult, each time you try even if you relapse, be proud that you had the strength and the willpower to give it a try. Relapse is a part of recovery and it will happen, it’s inevitable, but the next time you are brave enough to stop again, be proud that you’re thinking in terms of getting better. Take it one day at a time and we’ll all get there in the end 🙂 x

What craving a cut feels like.

This is the biggest longing I’ve had to cut in my 68 days clean.
For those who are curious what it feels like, I’ll fill you in. Your mind is focused on one thing only, a blade. Your scars tingle and your fingers can’t help but twitch and tap, my forehead sweats and I’m completely restless. As soon as you distract yourself, the second it’s done your mind zaps back to chanting “cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut”. I am desperate to make the mental pain and all the memories go away, I am absolutely desperate, slicing your arm open is and dealing with the blood and the physical pain (which doesn’t hurt that much anymore) is much easier than remembering and dealing with mental pain.
That’s why we do it, physical pain is much easier to handle.